I would like start by saying that I'm not writing this because I can't get over this certain issue. This blog is all about me writing whatever pops into this psychotic little mind of mine for two reason; one: it makes me feel better, i.e. venting. Two: I'm pretty damn goo at it. Thanks.
Everyone has a song or songs that remind them of someone in their past and I see nothing wrong with this, although if this person didn't leave a good mark in your memories then you're not going to want to listen to that song or songs for a while if not forever. Well, I was rearranging my room today and just let my iTunes play "rock" and a certain song by Chris Daughtry came on called "Over You" and I listened to this song obsessively about 3 - 3 1/2 years ago because my boyfriend(at the time) had dumped me for the 4th or 5th time. And I know, I know...you're asking yourself why I let it go on that far and that answer is simple; I loved him. And he had me in the palm of his hand...he knew that and he used that. Yes, I forgave him for leaving me and yes, it took me a long time and I had a ample amount of growing up to do before I could do that. At the time, I, obviously, didn't like nor did I agree with what and how he was doing what he was doing but over time I learned that he was just a boy and that's the only way he knew how to end it. The funny thing is that I was sitting on the back deck with my mama one night a couple weeks after the 5th time and she looked me right in the eyes and said the mom thing, "baby, are you okay?"...needless to say I lost it, broke down crying, and we talked for hours. I don't care what anyone says, mama's can get anything thy want out of their kids, their good like that. Anyways, I do think that I was a dumb ass for not stopping everything that was going on but oh well.It took me a good couple of months to go out and hang out with my friends, which felt really good b.c I hadn't done that in a long time anyways. There are still times when I start to think about everything that happened but then I just remember the good times and the bad memories kind of fade into the background.
So, truthfully, I started this one because I wanted to write about how I didn't understand how you could act like that to someone and why. I started this mad but this certain entry is the turning point for me and I finally can forgive and forget. But I started writing and my fingers took flight. Apparently they had other plans for this entry but that's okay because whilst writing I have figured that I really don't care. Yes, I do hope he has a good life and yes, I'll admit it, he will always have a piece of my heart because of our past but that's life.
So there it is, I've hit rock bottom because of a guy and I grew up A LOT after everything he did to me but WOW this entry was suppose to go differently. HA! Oh well.
Peace =).
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