It's Clear My Heart Beats For You =)

There is something inside you that arises when you fall in love. I firmly believe that you only ever fall in love once and everything else is most likely just lust. When you feel like you want to better yourself for someone, and you want to give them everything you possibly can, then you have fallen in love. When I fell for the man I with now and forever will be, I think that I matured some. Being in love is a beautiful thing but also a curse; because you put all of your trust into someone and them into you, which is a dangerous thing to do but when you love them as much as I love Timothy Ferguson, then it is no biggie. A very important thing that I have learned is that life is way to short to let a fight last too long. Tim and I honestly started out as friends for the 1st 4 or 5 years that we knew each other and when I had my heart broken in September of 2009 he was there for me for the next 4 or 5 months. He was always willing to talk to me at any hour of the night and would hang out with me when I just needed to get my mind of things. Over the next 4 months, I didn't realize this at the time, but I was quickly spiraling out of control in love with him. Then one day, while hanging out with him, he kissed me and something sparked. Over the next month or so I became addicted to his kisses, literally. I could not help myself and I felt horrible because I felt as if I was using him but he reassured me that he knew what he was doing. I have no idea what was going through his head during all of this but I hope that he really knew what he was doing. One night, I surprised Tim at work and he was talking to his mom on the phone and I knew by his face that something was terribly wrong; Tim's mom was being relocated to Florida because of her job and Tim HAD to go with her, there was no option. I thought it was pointless to start anything when he was moving to a different state in 2 months. Tim told me that we should just focus on the time we had left with each other and over the next week or so Tim's mom kept telling me that I should move down there with them. Obviously, my first reaction was: "I can't just up and leave my family, my job, my college." But the more it got brought up, even by my parents, the more I considered it. Then came the faithful night that I will never forget; I hadn't eaten all day because I was so nervous. Tim, myself, my parents, and the neighbor's were all going to Diamond Dave's bar on HWY 41 for dinner and some laughs. Naturally, Tim and I rode in his truck to Diamond Dave's, I was sweaty and had a shortness of breath and finally came out and told Tim..."Thanks for tripping me!" He suddenly got this very cheesy grin on his face because he knew exactly what I meant. I wasn't ready to actually say it until about a week later, though. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and I'm so glad that i believe that because if it was not for all those shenanigans then I would not of moved to Florida with the most amazing man in the world who I hope comes and gives me a kiss when he is done reading this =). PeAcE =)